Flogging chronicles part 2

This story is about the 3rd worst flogging of my life.

I would talk about the worst flogging but the pain was too much to quantify with words. So let’s talk about the 3rd

The day I chopped this cane started normally, I was like 8 years old or so and we were still living in Keffi.

You see Keffi was a typical Hausa small town, everybody knew everyone else by name. Very frustrating.

I was attending a Catholic primary school and usually I’d trek home after school with a couple of my classmates.

On this particular day, it was raining heavily and I knew that the rules of Adigun clearly stated that;

If it’s raining, sit down in school and wait for it to stop or reduce to a light shower.

But as usual that voice in my head that gives me ideas struck again.

It was whispering in my ears like, “you can just go home like this, no one is at home so they’ll never know. You know you want to”. And I really wanted to, so I grabbed my schoolbag and left school.

It didn’t occur to me that my bag wasn’t water proof, I just wanted to play.

Oh boy I had fun that day eh, playing under the rain with no one around. I was balling and feeling like.

But my village people were in their corner looking at me like.

When I got home, I quickly removed my school clothes and soaked them in a bucket of water. No evidence, no case. Spongebob sense

In my mind I had destroyed all the evidence. Buuuut.

I forgot the school bag.

As if my bad luck was not enough, only my mom and I were in the house during that time and she was very stressed. There was no one to rescue me.

When she got back from work, the first thing she saw was the soaked schoolbag I dumped at the door.

I didn’t even notice when she picked it up, Spongebob was on and my sense was off, I was happily singing the theme song and shouting “Spongebob Squarepants!!” like a fool.

She came up to me and said “shey ojo o pa e” which translates to “hope rain didn’t beat you”.

Ode that I am, I didn’t only say yes, I cooked up one very complicated and Oscar worthy story about how I waited and waited in school for loooooooong before the rain stopped, my friend even fell inside kpoto kpoto as we were coming.

As I was busy lying, she was just looking at me like.

After the story, she didn’t say anything. She just lifted the bag, the thing was still dripping sef. Aderonke aff cast

I just thought, ah Jesus epp me

Instead of her to beat me sharp sharp, she just told me to dry out my bag and books.

I started thinking I had escaped after we ate and it was already time to sleep.

But most of my hope died when she went into her room and came out with hangers.

I was thinking “maybe she wants to hang something na” until she said kneel down there!!

My body started paining me in advance.

After a long speech that I didn’t hear because I was distracted by the hangers. She held me down and beat me like it was an exorcism.

And it worked, It was so effective that to this day I hardly ever leave my house when it’s raining, before lightning will strike someone.

Until next time

Xoxo Aderonke.

6 thoughts on “Flogging chronicles part 2

  1. I love meme stories! “my body started paining me in advance” haha! sorry to laugh at your misfortune but it has made for a great story. keep writing!

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