Why do I always have to enter wahalla. Gist!
Due to the fact that I was suffering from heartbreak ( we’ll talk about this later), my friends decided to drag me out to swim…. Lord bless their hearts.
After trying my best not to drown in the pool, I decided to post some pictures, because you know a sister was looking peng (in my mind sha).
Now swimsuit pictures are not something you want your parents to see, so I blocked everyone above 30 from viewing my Whatsapp status updates.
I should have known that something would go wrong as usual, I can never catch a break!!. About 3 hours after posting the pictures, my sister called me to tell me that I sent one of the pictures to my family group chat!!!!.
You don’t understand o, it was my extended family group chat..as in all my uncles, cousins, my mother, everybody!.
I started sweating😓😫, I just kept saying “blood of Jesus” repeatedly. To make it worse, Airtel network was bad where I was so I couldn’t even try to delete the picture.
My heart was beating gbim gbim gbim. I started running upandan to find network. But when I eventually got network, I couldn’t delete it 😭😭😭.
My life was over. I wanted to faint, or run away to the jungle. I started considering getting plastic surgery to change my identity. 🤔running away from the continent would’ve been easy, it’d just take me 12 years to trek to Spain from Nigeria.
But after all this wahalla, none of them even commented on the picture. I don’t know which of the angels saved me, but that angel is the real MVP.
- the next time I go to a pool, I’m wearing a long gown.
- I will post with sense from now on.
- I’m not even going to swim again, I’m not a fish.
PS: I write poems….here’s one of them 👇
Moves and counter moves
Indications and contradictions
A pawn and a queen
Playing a game of chess
The poor pawn is doomed
Even before the first move
But still he tries
All hope isn’t lost
Oh but little pawn!
All hope is lost
Ko Ya gba kamu.
Xoxo until next time.