It was a beautiful evening in the little town of Iré in South western Nigeria. The air had the refreshing scent of soil soaked with water and young shoots pushing out of the earth.
The dark clouds parted to reveal a sky stained pink by the setting sun, and birds chirped merrily while a gentle breeze blew through the trees on which they were perched.
Wild flowers bloomed at the roadside, and bursts of laughter could be heard from children playing in the streets, smearing themselves with mud and skipping about with childish abandon.
Peter didn’t notice any of this beauty as he stood on his balcony smoking weed, no, Peter wasn’t one for sunsets and flowers. The only form of beauty he ever acknowledged was the pleasing image of a woman’s body, a shapely backside or well formed breasts, he could appreciate. But he took no notice of any other form of beauty.
As he watched the townspeople hurry past, calling out greetings of ”eku irole” to each other, he considered calling his best friend living in Lagos to help him look out for a job, just in case the rumours were true.
He worked at the only bank in town and he’d always thought he had job security, but rumours were going round that the branch might be forced to close as they weren’t raking in any profit.
He would be sorry to leave this town. With it’s naive women and rigid cultural values. It was the perfect place for him, he would never be exposed.
Finding a girl to love would be harder in a big city like Lagos, he’d have to be extra careful and try not to express his love frequently.
Peter took a drag of his joint, leaving ire would be very inconvenient for him.
He let loose a weary sigh.
He needed a distraction to take his mind off his job situation, so he considered calling the local prostitute’sikira’ later that night to warm his bed.
Or he’d switch things up and call -Abigail- a 50 year old. widow who had garnered a reputation as the resident ‘cougar’ after the death of her husband about 3 years before. Abigail never said no to him.
He had gone to bed with almost all the women in the village, including the married ones. They hardly ever refused him.
He’d loved a lot of them, even though they’d betrayed him eventually. They were all ungrateful people, they didn’t deserve his love.
Besides, He didn’t want any of them anymore, he had fallen in love for real this time with Sandra.
The thought of her sent shivers down his spine and made his penis twitch.
He wanted Sandra so much it was an obsession, he would abandon every other woman if Sandra so much as smiled at him.
He knew that he loved her more than he had loved the others and that she was his true love, his soulmate.
After almost 2 months of begging, she wouldn’t even give him her number or hold a conversation for more than 2 minutes with him.
She always gave different excuses, the first time he’d approached her, she’d said that talking to strangers made her uncomfortable. Then she’d said she only gave her number to close friends and family, then she’d claimed to have a boyfriend.
He knew she was only playing hard to get, She’d come around eventually, they always did.
From the conversations they’d had, he’d garnered that she had just graduated from the University of Lagos and had come to Irè to visit with her grandparents.
Iya funke who sold foodstuffs at the corner reportedly heard from her grandparents that she was a medical doctor and only 21!. He had always been attracted to intelligent, beautiful and accomplished girls.
Peter thought back to the first time he saw her. He was standing in front of his house smoking weed as usual when she came out of her grandparent’s house wearing flowing trousers and a crop top, her lips were painted bright red and she had her hair up.
He had fallen in love with her from that first moment, And his love had only deepened with time.
While his thoughts were on her, Sandra stepped out of her grandparent’s house wearing boxer shorts and a tank top, her hair was bunched haphazardly atop her head and she had black framed glasses on.
“Damn!” Peter thought “does she look sexy in that, the things he would do to her?!”
Sandra was a tall girl, at least 5’8. She had small pert breasts and a generous backside. Her skin was milky brown and her lips full and pink, she was beautiful in a way that demanded attention.
She paused in front of the house and squinted up at the sky, she would have to get new glasses, her old ones were too weak to offer her much help anymore.
She loved this town, with it’s uncluttered streets and residents who considered each other family, the easy going way of life and general feeling of tranquility. It was entirely different from fast paced Lagos, with everyone out to swindle you or trample you in their hurry, or Abuja where everyone was too busy clamouring for a share of the ‘national cake’ to care about anyone else.
This town was just what she needed before her youth service, especially after the harrowing experience that was Medical school. She had worked hard in school, balancing schoolwork and church activities meant she didn’t have the time for a social life, but Sandra was never one for parties and intimate friendships. In all her 21 years, she had never had a boyfriend, she hadn’t ever seen the need for one.
Peter watched her staring at the sky and wondered how it would feel to kiss her lips, or to touch her backside. He had always been a sucker for big butts. He’d bet his left kidney that her butt would be soft.
Sandra took a single picture of the sunset with her mobile phone and then started to walk in the direction of the old mosque.
While she carefully avoided the puddles on the way, she thought about how fast her life had been moving. She had been in school since she was 2 and at age 21 she was a medical doctor.
She admitted that she was lucky to have had the opportunities she did, but sometimes she just wanted it to slow down a bit so she could catch her breath. She wanted to know how it felt to go months without anything to do, she’d almost always been in school and her parents always made sure that she studied during her holidays. Even now, her holiday was marred by worries about her Nysc deployment.
As Peter watched her walk by, he was hit with an idea. Since Sandra refused to believe that he loved her after telling her so many times, he would show her, he would brand his love on her soul and body, and she’d have no choice but to admit that she loved back. They always loved him back eventually after he showed them, she would love him too.
Peter threw his joint down and hurried after her.
“Hey there beautiful, you look ravishing tonight” Peter said after he caught up with her.
Sandra didn’t slow down, she wasn’t interested in his advances.
Peter wasn’t going to give up easily “where are you going to, let me escort you”. He said with a patronising smile.
“I’m going to buy Akara from iya tawa” she said “you don’t have to follow me, I like to walk alone, thanks for offering” she turned to him with a tight smile. She always felt really uncomfortable around him, he gave off strange vibes that made her want to run in the opposite direction.
Peter smiled to himself, there was an abandoned building on the way to iya Tawa’s stand, it was always deserted at this time of the day. it’d be the perfect place to show Sandra his love, no one would interrupt, he would make sure not to be too loud.
“How will I allow a fine girl like you to walk all the way over there alone ehn?” he said
Sandra shrugged, there was nothing she could do if he wanted to come along, she’d have to make do with his annoying chatter for a little while.
Peter had no interest in talking that night, and before long he’d fallen behind.
He remembered when the same thing had happened with Ayo– a Corp member whom he had loved too, he had shown her love behind the local primary school, she’d liked it rough and had clawed at him throughout, just like a wildcat.
She’d accused him of rape afterwards , it’d really hurt his feelings, he’d tried to show her his love and she’d accused him of something as disgusting as rape. He would never take advantage of a woman like that, especially not one he had loved.
He’d fallen out of love with her eventually. He couldn’t stay in love with someone who’d been bent on destroying his reputation like that.
Or the one before Ayo, Bilikis. She was a short girl, she stood at no more than 5 feet on a good day, with a flat chest and a less than average butt, she always exuded an air of vulnerability that made men want to protect her. He’d fallen for her the first time she walked by his house hawking ẹkọ.
He’d asked her out the next week and she’d promptly agreed, he had a lot of fun with her, She’d always worn really short skirts and belly revealing tops with spaghetti straps hidden under the folds of her hijab. Her parents were devout Muslims so they’d had to keep their romance secret, at 16, she’d despised the power her parents had over her. He’d thought she was the one, until he’d been forced to put her to sleep.
He still saw her parents around town once in a while, he wished he could tell her mother that he had caressed bilikis’ neck with that rope because he loved her and he didn’t want her to make a mistake.
There were flyers in all the neighbouring towns with her picture on them and a header that read ‘have you seen me?’ in Yoruba. He wished they’d stop looking, they would never find her where she was. He’d put her under the earth at the riverside to sleep.
His favourite would always be the first woman he’d loved, Mide. she was his elder sister and he had always loved her fiercely. When he’d finally confessed his love to her, she had rejected him and told him that it was wrong for him to love her that way, as if love could be wrong.
He’d asked his elder cousin, Deji, for advice on how to get her to love him. Deji had always been his favourite cousin, they’d gotten close after the death of Deji’s mother when he was 18. He’d moved in with them shortly after her funeral and had lived with them until he was 25.
Deji had been the first person to touch him intimately, he’d shown him countless videos of people loving each other and taught him how to use his body to show people he loved them.
And one day when he was 14 and his parents traveled to see an uncle in Ibadan, he gave her a bottle of Malt spiked with codeine like Deji told him to and he showed her his love the way he’d seen the people in the videos do it.
She drank a bottle of bleach the following week, she’d always been a strange person, she’s probably taken the bleach thinking it was some kind of soda It had broken his heart when she’d been confirmed dead, she was his first love.
After 3 minutes of walking behind Sandra while she cast furtive glances at him over her shoulder, they were finally approaching the building.
The sky was dark and the area was completely deserted. Everything was going according to plan. By the end of the night Sandra would love him as much as he loved her.
He hoped she wouldn’t turn on him like ayo did, he could really see a future with her. Maybe he’d get her pregnant, and they could be a family, he would name the child mide.
Sandra’s legs looked really nice in those shorts. Why would a girl wear a pair of shorts like that if she wasn’t trying to attract him?, she had been giving him inviting looks throughout their walk and shaking her hips to make her ass wiggle, she wanted this as much as he did, maybe even more.
Immediately they got in front of the building, Peter grabbed Sandra around the waist and started to drag her into the building. She stiffened with shock, what was going on?.
She tried to wriggle out of his hold, but he held on. Peter was a lanky man that looked like he wouldn’t be able to lift a cup, but his arousal had given him superhuman strength, Sandra would not be able to get away from him.
She bit his arm to get him to drop her, but this only excited him further, he liked to play rough.
She started to scream for help, but Peter quickly pulled her top over her lips, he had her hands pinned beneath her body as he lay ontop her, she could only manage weak sounds and limited movement.
He had a glazed look in his eyes, like he couldn’t see her anymore, he pawed at her breasts like a dog, foaming at the mouth with saliva dripping down his chin. His nails dug into her skin and left little cuts all over her, he squeezed her neck so hard spots appeared in her vision.
She’d never been so terrified in her life, it had to be a sick dream, something so horrible couldn’t possibly be happening to her. This wasn’t something that happened to people like her, it was supposed to be an abstract concept that happened in movies and novels.
The words he was spitting at her felt like acid in her ears.
“you’re a slut” he said “sashaying all over the neighbourhood teasing all the boys… You want this don’t you?, you’ve been dreaming about me doing this to you”
She started to cry, there was nobody to save her. This was really happening.
Sandra lay there while Peter tore at her clothes, he yanked off her panties and plunged a finger into her core, she was as dry as a desert during Harmattan, but he didn’t mind.
He looked up at her with shiny eyes “you’re a virgin!” he said “don’t worry ehn you’ll enjoy this, I know you like it rough”
She wanted to scream at him that he didn’t know what she liked, because he never asked. She wanted to scream at him to stop acting like she had consented to have sex with him, she wanted to beg him to let her go. But Sandra was gagged and weak, she could only cry and watch.
As he plunged into her forcefully, she stared at the sky without really seeing anything, She couldn’t see past the fire that was burning through her body, ravaging her soul. She wished for death, or an angel to take her away from that place. But death didn’t come, neither did her angel. She felt every stroke of Peter’s hips until the last.
When he jerked and poured his seed into her with a grunt of satisfaction, she felt truly destroyed.
He rolled off her and lay panting beside her, “mehn!” he said “you sweet die o” he leaned over to kiss her on the forehead and removed her Gag.
He got and pulled his shorts up then brushed some dust off his clothes. After he’d ensured that he looked normal, he knelt beside Sandra and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow ehn, abi you want me to escort you to your house?”.
She didn’t reply, she just kept staring up at the sky… She had no words.
Peter stood staring at her for some minutes and then he walked out whistling, leaving her lying there with her soul bleeding out.
Sandra felt empty, like a house that had been robbed and burnt, she had been used and discarded, like soiled toilet paper. No one would want something like her, an empty and broken jar. She was worthless.
And it was her fault.
She wouldn’t tell anyone, she’d have to find a way to sneak into the house unseen.
It was her fault, they’d all blame her.
She saw what happened when her friend-ugo-got raped.
The questions, “what were you doing outside after dark?” “what were you wearing?” “how did you walk, did you shake your hips invitingly?”.
Then they’d look at her and say “you tempted him, it was your fault”
And it was her fault, she shouldn’t have cared so much for her looks, if she hadn’t eaten so much junk food her butt would be smaller, she should’ve worn long gowns and hidden her body, she shouldn’t be walking around at night.
She tempted him.
It was her fault.
Sandra got up and staggered home, she felt a stabbing pain in her abdomen with every step she took, but she kept walking. She wouldn’t let anyone know, no one would see. she’d made a horrible mistake, no one would see her shame. She’d take care of it.
She snuck into the house through the backdoor and quickly went into the bathroom to try to wash off the dirt on her. After almost an hour of scrubbing, she still felt grimy. She would never be able to get rid of the stain he had put on her.
One month later, a new set of youth Corp members were transferred to the local primary school. Amaka , a 22 year old graduate of political science from the University of calabar, moved next door to Peter. He fell in love with her.
He would always have a soft spot for Sandra, but she had been behaving strangely, she’d been avoiding him since he showed her. He’d really thought she was the one.
He hoped Amaka wouldn’t dissapoint him too.
Two months later, as Sandra downed that bottle of insecticide. One thing echoed in her mind.
It was your fault.
It was a beautiful evening in the little town of Iré in South western Nigeria. The air had the refreshing scent of soil soaked with water and young shoots pushing out of the earth.
The dark clouds parted to reveal a sky stained pink by the setting sun, and birds chirped merrily while a gentle breeze blew through the trees on which they were perched.
Wild flowers bloomed at the roadside, and bursts of laughter could be heard from children playing in the streets, smearing themselves with mud and skipping about with childish abandon.
Peter didn’t notice any of this beauty as he stood on his balcony smoking weed, no, Peter wasn’t one for sunsets and flowers. The only form of beauty he ever acknowledged was the pleasing image of a woman’s body, a shapely backside or well formed breasts, he could appreciate. But he took no notice of any other form of beauty.
As he watched the townspeople hurry past, calling out greetings of ‘eku irole” to each other, he considered calling his best friend living in Lagos to help him look out for a job, just in case the rumours were true.
He worked at the only bank in town and he’d always thought he had job security, but rumours were going round that the branch might be forced to close as they weren’t raking in any profit.
He would be sorry to leave this town. With it’s naive women and rigid cultural values. It was the perfect place for him, he would never be exposed.
Finding a girl to love would be harder in a big city like Lagos, he’d have to be extra careful and try not to express his love frequently.
Peter took a drag of his joint, leaving ire would be very inconvenient for him.
He let loose a weary sigh.
He needed a distraction to take his mind off his job situation, so he considered calling the local prostitute sikira later that night to warm his bed.
Or he’d switch things up and call Abigail- a 50 year old. widow who had garnered a reputation as the resident ‘cougar’ after the death of her husband about 3 years before. Abigail never said no to him.
He had gone to bed with almost all the women in the village, including the married ones. They hardly ever refused him.
He’d loved a lot of them, even though they’d betrayed him eventually. They were all ungrateful people, they didn’t deserve his love.
Besides, He didn’t want any of them anymore, he had fallen in love for real this time with Sandra.
The thought of her sent shivers down his spine and made his penis twitch.
He wanted Sandra so much it was an obsession, he would abandon every other woman if Sandra so much as smiled at him.
He knew that he loved her more than he had loved the others and that she was his true love, his soulmate.
After almost 2 months of begging, she wouldn’t even give him her number or hold a conversation for more than 2 minutes with him.
She always gave different excuses, the first time he’d approached her, she’d said that talking to strangers made her uncomfortable. Then she’d said she only gave her number to close friends and family, then she’d claimed to have a boyfriend.
He knew she was only playing hard to get, She’d come around eventually, they always did.
From the conversations they’d had, he’d garnered that she had just graduated from the University of Lagos and had come to Irè to visit with her grandparents.
Iya funke who sold foodstuffs at the corner reportedly heard from her grandparents that she was a medical doctor and only 21!. He had always been attracted to intelligent, beautiful and accomplished girls.
Peter thought back to the first time he saw her. He was standing in front of his house smoking weed as usual when she came out of her grandparent’s house wearing flowing trousers and a crop top, her lips were painted bright red and she had her hair up.
He had fallen in love with her from that first moment, And his love had only deepened with time.
While his thoughts were on her, Sandra stepped out of her grandparent’s house wearing boxer shorts and a tank top, her hair was bunched haphazardly atop her head and she had black framed glasses on.
“Damn!” Peter thought “does she look sexy in that, the things he would do to her?!”
Sandra was a tall girl, at least 5’8. She had small pert breasts and a generous backside. Her skin was milky brown and her lips full and pink, she was beautiful in a way that demanded attention.
She paused in front of the house and squinted up at the sky, she would have to get new glasses, her old ones were too weak to offer her much help anymore.
She loved this town, with it’s uncluttered streets and residents who considered each other family, the easy going way of life and general feeling of tranquility. It was entirely different from fast paced Lagos, with everyone out to swindle you or trample you in their hurry, or Abuja where everyone was too busy clamouring for a share of the ‘national cake’ to care about anyone else.
This town was just what she needed before her youth service, especially after the harrowing experience that was Medical school. She had worked hard in school, balancing schoolwork and church activities meant she didn’t have the time for a social life, but Sandra was never one for parties and intimate friendships. In all her 21 years, she had never had a boyfriend, she hadn’t ever seen the need for one.
Peter watched her staring at the sky and wondered how it would feel to kiss her lips, or to touch her backside. He had always been a sucker for big butts. He’d bet his left kidney that her butt would be soft.
Sandra took a single picture of the sunset with her mobile phone and then started to walk in the direction of the old mosque.
While she carefully avoided the puddles on the way, she thought about how fast her life had been moving. She had been in school since she was 2 and at age 21 she was a medical doctor.
She admitted that she was lucky to have had the opportunities she did, but sometimes she just wanted it to slow down a bit so she could catch her breath. She wanted to know how it felt to go months without anything to do, she’d almost always been in school and her parents always made sure that she studied during her holidays. Even now, her holiday was marred by worries about her Nysc deployment.
As Peter watched her walk by, he was hit with an idea. Since Sandra refused to believe that he loved her after telling her so many times, he would show her, he would brand his love on her soul and body, and she’d have no choice but to admit that she loved back. They always loved him back eventually after he showed them, she would love him too.
Peter threw his joint down and hurried after her.
“Hey there beautiful, you look ravishing tonight” Peter said after he caught up with her.
Sandra didn’t slow down, she wasn’t interested in his advances.
Peter wasn’t going to give up easily “where are you going to, let me escort you”. He said with a patronising smile.
“I’m going to buy Akara from iya tawa” she said “you don’t have to follow me, I like to walk alone, thanks for offering” she turned to him with a tight smile. She always felt really uncomfortable around him, he gave off strange vibes that made her want to run in the opposite direction.
Peter smiled to himself, there was an abandoned building on the way to iya Tawa’s stand, it was always deserted at this time of the day. it’d be the perfect place to show Sandra his love, no one would interrupt, he would make sure not to be too loud.
“how will I allow a fine girl like you to walk all the way over there alone ehn?” he said
Sandra shrugged, there was nothing she could do if he wanted to come along, she’d have to make do with his annoying chatter for a little while.
Peter had no interest in talking that night, and before long he’d fallen behind.
He remembered when the same thing had happened with Ayo- a Corp member whom he had loved too, he had shown her love behind the local primary school, she’d liked it rough and had clawed at him throughout, just like a wildcat.
She’d accused him of rape afterwards , it’d really hurt his feelings, he’d tried to show her his love and she’d accused him of something as disgusting as rape. He would never take advantage of a woman like that, especially not one he had loved.
He’d fallen out of love with her eventually. He couldn’t stay in love with someone who’d been bent on destroying his reputation like that.
Or the one before ayo-bilikis. She was a short girl, she stood at no more than 5 feet on a good day, with a flat chest and a less than average butt, she always exuded an air of vulnerability that made men want to protect her. He’d fallen for her the first time she walked by his house hawking ẹkọ.
He’d asked her out the next week and she’d promptly agreed, he had a lot of fun with her, She’d always worn really short skirts and belly revealing tops with spaghetti straps hidden under the folds of her hijab. Her parents were devout Muslims so they’d had to keep their romance secret, at 16, she’d despised the power her parents had over her. He’d thought she was the one, until he’d been forced to put her to sleep.
He still saw her parents around town once in a while, he wished he could tell her mother that he had caressed bilikis’ neck with that rope because he loved her and he didn’t want her to make a mistake.
There were flyers in all the neighbouring towns with her picture on them and a header that read ‘have you seen me?’ in Yoruba. He wished they’d stop looking, they would never find her where she was. He’d put her under the earth at the riverside to sleep.
His favourite would always be the first woman he’d loved, mide. she was his elder sister and he had always loved her fiercely. When he’d finally confessed his love to her, she had rejected him and told him that it was wrong for him to love her that way, as if love could be wrong.
He’d asked his elder cousin, Deji, for advice on how to get her to love him. Deji had always been his favourite cousin, they’d gotten close after the death of Deji’s mother when he was 18. He’d moved in with them shortly after her funeral and had lived with them until he was 25.
Deji had been the first person to touch him intimately, he’d shown him countless videos of people loving each other and taught him how to use his body to show people he loved them.
And one day when he was 14 and his parents traveled to see an uncle in Ibadan, he gave her a bottle of Malt spiked with codeine like Deji told him to and he showed her his love the way he’d seen the people in the videos do it.
She drank a bottle of bleach the following week, she’d always been a strange person, she’s probably taken the bleach thinking it was some kind of soda, it had broken his heart when she’d been confirmed dead, she was his first love.
After 3 minutes of walking behind Sandra while she cast furtive glances at him over her shoulder, they were finally approaching the building.
The sky was dark and the area was completely deserted. Everything was going according to plan. By the end of the night Sandra would love him as much as he loved her.
He hoped she wouldn’t turn on him like ayo did, he could really see a future with her. Maybe he’d get her pregnant, and they could be a family, he would name the child mide.
Sandra’s legs looked really nice in those shorts. Why would a girl wear a pair of shorts like that if she wasn’t trying to attract him?, she had been giving him inviting looks throughout their walk and shaking her hips to make her ass wiggle, she wanted this as much as he did, maybe even more.
Immediately they got in front of the building, Peter grabbed Sandra around the waist and started to drag her into the building. She stiffened with shock, what was going on?.
She tried to wriggle out of his hold, but he held on. Peter was a lanky man that looked like he wouldn’t be able to lift a cup, but his arousal had given him superhuman strength, Sandra would not be able to get away from him.
She bit his arm to get him to drop her, but this only excited him further, he liked to play rough.
She started to scream for help, but Peter quickly pulled her top over her lips, he had her hands pinned beneath her body as he lay ontop her, she could only manage weak sounds and limited movement.
He had a glazed look in his eyes, like he couldn’t see her anymore, he pawed at her breasts like a dog, foaming at the mouth with saliva dripping down his chin. His nails dug into her skin and left little cuts all over her, he squeezed her neck so hard spots appeared in her vision.
She’d never been so terrified in her life, it had to be a sick dream, something so horrible couldn’t possibly be happening to her. This wasn’t something that happened to people like her, it was supposed to be an abstract concept that happened in movies and novels.
The words he was spitting at her felt like acid in her ears.
“you’re a slut” he said “sashaying all over the neighbourhood teasing all the boys… You want this don’t you?, you’ve been dreaming about me doing this to you”
She started to cry, there was nobody to save her. This was really happening.
Sandra lay there while Peter tore at her clothes, he yanked off her panties and plunged a finger into her core, she was as dry as a desert during Harmattan, but he didn’t mind.
He looked up at her with shiny eyes “you’re a virgin!” he said “don’t worry ehn you’ll enjoy this, I know you like it rough”
She wanted to scream at him that he didn’t know what she liked, because he never asked. She wanted to scream at him to stop acting like she had consented to have sex with him, she wanted to beg him to let her go. But Sandra was gagged and weak, she could only cry and watch.
As he plunged into her forcefully, she stared at the sky without really seeing anything, She couldn’t see past the fire that was burning through her body, ravaging her soul. She wished for death, or an angel to take her away from that place. But death didn’t come, neither did her angel. She felt every stroke of Peter’s hips until the last.
When he jerked and poured his seed into her with a grunt of satisfaction, she felt truly destroyed.
He rolled off her and lay panting beside her, “mehn!” he said “you sweet die o” he leaned over to kiss her on the forehead and removed her Gag.
He got and pulled his shorts up then brushed some dust off his clothes. After he’d ensured that he looked normal, he knelt beside Sandra and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow ehn, abi you want me to escort you to your house?”.
She didn’t reply, she just kept staring up at the sky… She had no words.
Peter stood staring at her for some minutes and then he walked out whistling, leaving her lying there with her soul bleeding out.
Sandra felt empty, like a house that had been robbed and burnt, she had been used and discarded, like soiled toilet paper. No one would want something like her, an empty and broken jar. She was worthless.
And it was her fault.
She wouldn’t tell anyone, she’d have to find a way to sneak into the house unseen.
It was her fault, they’d all blame her.
She saw what happened when her friend-ugo-got raped.
The questions, “what were you doing outside after dark?” “what were you wearing?” “how did you walk, did you shake your hips invitingly?”.
Then they’d look at her and say “you tempted him, it was your fault”
And it was her fault, she shouldn’t have cared so much for her looks, if she hadn’t eaten so much junk food her butt would be smaller, she should’ve worn long gowns and hidden her body, she shouldn’t be walking around at night.
She tempted him.
It was her fault.
Sandra got up and staggered home, she felt a stabbing pain in her abdomen with every step she took, but she kept walking. She wouldn’t let anyone know, no one would see. she’d made a horrible mistake, no one would see her shame. She’d take care of it.
She snuck into the house through the backdoor and quickly went into the bathroom to try to wash off the dirt on her. After almost an hour of scrubbing, she still felt grimy. She would never be able to get rid of the stain he had put on her.
One month later, a new set of youth Corp members were transferred to the local primary school. Amaka , a 22 year old graduate of political science from the University of calabar, moved next door to Peter. He fell in love with her.
He would always have a soft spot for Sandra, but she had been behaving strangely, she’d been avoiding him since he showed her. He’d really thought she was the one.
He hoped Amaka wouldn’t dissapoint him too.
Two months later, as Sandra downed that bottle of insecticide. One thing echoed in her mind.
it was your fault.
.
The Sheba 
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