Juicy amebo

See you this amebo, now that you’ve entered my trap. Let’s talk about feminism.

This is a topic a lot of people shy away from discussing. Today I’ll be talking about what feminism is all about, from my point of view.

In Nigeria, calling yourself a feminist is like saying you support terrorism. People would look at you and say, “why do you have to keep fighting?, it’s a man’s world”. Or “you’re too stubborn, feminism is not part of our culture”.

Mbok who made that law about culture being resistant to evolution?. Are we still savages walking about naked that we cannot see the simple truth which is that in this century women and men are practically equally matched. For God’s sake we’re not Apes!.

A passage from Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s book of the same name as this article perfectly articulates my point.

Culture does not make people.

make culture.

We cannot hide behind these paltry excuses to justify our own foolishness. It is true that a few hundred years ago, it made sense for men to lead because physical strength was a big requirement for survival. But wake up! It’s 2018, brute strength is practically useless. Our minds hold all the power and there is no reason why women should be marginalized, because intelligence isn’t dependent on sex. Everyone should be given equal opportunities regardless of gender.

In this day and age we have to embrace individuality, let us accept that it is possible for a woman to hate cooking, because women are not genetically predisposed to be chefs. Let us eliminate that wonder we feel when we see a man who cooks, if you can eat you should be able to cook.

A man who is threatened by a successful woman with a mind of her own is a dimwit and has serious self esteem issues. Why else would you cage someone else’s entire scope of life except to make yourself feel better about your own inadequacies.

Childbirth is beautiful and amazing, but that woman didn’t impregnate herself. Unku that child is yours too and you are equally responsible for it’s care as the woman is.

Recently someone told me that I’d end up going unmarried if I don’t change my views. “You’re a woman” he said with this annoyingly deprecating tone, “your thoughts shouldn’t be so radical, you’ll chase men away from you”. I replied that, I wouldn’t even marry any man who feels intimidated by my strength, my mother didn’t raise me that way.

The solutions to this problem of gender stereotypes are really simple.

Train your sons and daughters equally, it starts with the little things. When your daughter is in the kitchen helping to cook, drag that boy too. If he can eat food then he can prepare it, cooking is a basic survival skill. Don’t let him grow up with the mindset that a woman belongs in the kitchen. No! A woman belongs wherever she wants to be.

When your son is out playing, your daughter shouldn’t have to stay in to play with barbie dolls. if she’s interested in doing that then it’s fine, but if she wants to go out to play in the sand, let her. Boys don’t have two heads. And the risk of injury is equal.

When you buy that ps4 for your son, think about your daughter too. The fact that she’s a girl doesn’t mean she can’t derive joy from video games too. Teach your sons and daughters that it isn’t right to hit anybody, male or female. Violence is wrong no matter what.

Give her a choice, she’s allowed to hate the colour pink, women don’t have a gene that denotes what colour to like. Don’t force her to like those high heeled shoes, don’t impose impossible standards of beauty on her, let her be comfortable in her own skin.

Train your son to view women as his equals so he won’t feel threatened when a girl comes first in class( this actually happened). Show him that his gender doesn’t mean a free pass and that he has to work hard to get whatever he wants.

Teach your daughters not to expect a man to sponsor her life, she has hands and a brain so she can work too.

Teach your sons that it’s OK to be emotional, it’s OK to cry, to feel. It’s what makes us human. Shutting up their feelings doesn’t make them more manly, it just let’s all those feelings fester.

Let us all teach our children that marriage is a partnership and not a transaction to acquire a lifelong slave.

Let us teach them love, respect and kindness. And maybe one day 50 or 100 years from now, the word feminist would not be viewed as a disease.

Feminist: A person who believes in the
social, political and economic equality of the sexes.

Xoxo, Aderonke.

Ps: you should read this book 👇

It accurately explains what feminism is truly about.


3 thoughts on “Juicy amebo

  1. I just hope both boys and girls get to read this. I also wish those girls that shout feminism and don’t know the meaning would finally see that being a feminist doesn’t mean you should wait for a guy to ask you out or wait for a guy to pay all the bills. Wifey this is amazing and I’ve read the book and I truly agree with chimamanda


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